Today I would like to talk about two things. Destruction and fear. There's nothing really cheerful about this post and they're both topics on negativity, so if you are the type of person who would not wish to listen to someone talk about negatives because of some displaces sense of self heavenliness then I suggest you leave this blog now. If you wish to read on because you honestly want to listen to another's opinion then I gladly invite you to stay. In fact, stay, sit and have a cup of warm hot chocolate while your at it (or maybe you prefer soy juice if your the health nut type).
I was studying the whole day. Yes, I kid you not. Really, I seriously went Eintsien today for no apparent reason. Good I guess. Keeps my mind fresh. Along with the studying came the unbelievable amount of stress and frustration. I do take breaks like a normal person every now and then. As I was reading the slides on fetal and infant development, I remembered about the event of Little Albert and the White Rat, and so I just scribbled down the word "fear" on one of the blank pieces of paper on my desk. (You'll understand why later when I get to that).
Continued studying, and reading. One of the slides explained more on the development of the growing baby/infant. Every single thing they mentioned, every stage of development, seemed to tally with how a baby would progress in growing and developing in real life. Things such as, when they can speak, when they crawl, when they show emotion, and even more complex things such as, pointing at something to show, getting attention by calling, showing preference and so on and so forth. One thing they forgot to mention is, how kids and babied are severely destructive. Absolutely nothing is mentioned on how a kid, or why a kid or when a kid becomes a little demolisher. Bringing me to write the word "destruction" down for me to think of later. I continued studying soon after scribbling on the paper on my desk again.
At me tea break, as I was sipping a glass of Lipton Yellow Label Tea, I glanced down at the paper on which I always scribble random things on (to clear my head) and I saw the words "fear" and "destruction" which I had wrote earlier. Then it dawned on me, these are two (very significant) aspects of the human being's personality that are almost never talked about or discussed. Which is strange because everyone seems to think that because these two topics are so negative, they cannot be discussed or debated thus hindering our understanding of this and slowing down our progression as an intelligent species on this Earth.
Fear.
What is it? Is it an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous? Fear is an emotion at all? Emotions which we all know, are volatile and unpredictable. How can we understand that fear is an emotion? Is fear based on logic or feelings? What is the line that divides them both? These are all questions sometimes too difficult to wrap your head around, but you can if you break them down.
Firstly, an example of fear as an emotion. You feel it. At times, fear feels you. Fear being an unpleasant feeling makes you want to run away from it. Leave it. Do anything you can to get away from it. Like somebody who is afraid of cockroaches for example. Those who fear them move away from cockroaches because naturally they will. Then there's logic. for example, why do we not speed on a wet highway? Is it the fear of crashing or the simple logic of avoiding an accident? Does fearing a crash and avoiding one because it is a hassle make the two the same? I can't tell you for sure because like you, I am not able to tell where one ends and the other begins.
Feelings as I've said earlier are volatile. One can easily manipulate things that are volatile however, such an idea is not a good one.. Since feelings can be actively "moulded", I think its about time I told you the true story of Little Albert and the White Rat.
This was in 1920. Little Albert and the White Rat.
John Watson was a psychologist from that era who wanted to test the idea of whether fear was innate or a conditioned response. "Little Albert," the nickname given to the 9-month-old orphan that Watson chose from a hospital, was exposed to a white rat and a host of other things for two months without any sort of conditioning. Albert was allowed to play with the rat and showed no fear of it. To try to induce fear, Watson would make a loud sound behind Albert's back by striking a suspended steel bar with a hammer when the baby touched the rodent.
Needless to say, poor Albert burst into tears when he heard the noise. After this was done several times, Albert became very distressed when the rat was displayed.
The poor tyke started to generalize his fear response to anything fluffy or white (or both). The most unfortunate part of this experiment is that Little Albert was not desensitized to his fear. He left the hospital before Watson could reverse the effects of his conditioning.
In other words, Albert was scarred for life. Which even though is cruel makes sense really. Fear to a certain extent is caused by certain activities which have significant influence on the human mind.
This in a way explains why I was so damn scared of lion dances every Chinese New Year. When I was a kid, the loud noises, big freaky looking erratic moving fluffy huge headed animal thing was something I would NOT want to go near. Fear for me when I was young came from something that I did not understand, but I'm not the only one.
The whole human race is bound by the same belief that we fear what we do not understand. THAT is unarguably, an innate response. You could be the most brilliant person on the planet, something bad or weird or strange beyond your understanding happens, you first response WILL be to fear. Its nature. If we didn't, the human race would not have survived that long. It is a natural survival instinct.
So if it is natural? Are all humans condemned to fear throughout their lives? Could we control it?
It if were proven to only be a conditioned response, would we be able to control fear?
Here's my definition of fear. I think that fear on paper can be defined as : A past experience which is somewhat unpleasant that somehow in some form, is mentally related to the object of fear itself.
Sayings like "the only thing to fear is fear itself" sounds a little corny but one just cant seem to find another way around that. I know I cant.
You've heard people say, don't make fear part of your life. Fear will be a part of everyones life wether they like it or not. The trick is not to control the fear or extinguish fear, but to DISTINGUISH and act on it.
Destruction
Another brilliant unavoidable human trait. We are natural at it. It all starts from the time we smash our little building blocks of wood in anger. Yes, childhood. Has anyone tried to manage to seen a kid that is non destructive? No? Some say yes. What is that you say? By keeping him suppressed his entire childhood? Wouldn't that make him a destructive adult?
We have struggled with this paradox for generation after generation. Humans love. Humans also destroy. Its what we're good at. There's no doubting it. Countless scholars have said that if you are good at something, then that is your purpose. Could this be entirely true? Is the purpose of mankind to destroy until there is nothing left?
Of our many traits, destruction seems to be one of our strongest. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. From the beginning of time until now. Humans have been a destructive lot. From the time we're born, till the time we die. This is one of the most depressing thoughts that has ever crossed my mind.
Take this case for example. I've been studying the whole day, I feel frustrated, so I decide to take a break and install some useful apps for my pc. There is a DVD which such apps are installed and I have it. I put it in, run it and try installing. Nothing works. Not one application could be installed. I knew it was the DVD's fault because the damn thing got jammed in my pc's DVD drive, and wouldn't come back out. After 10 minutes of desperate clicking and troubleshooting, it finally gave up and came out. My anger and frustration was at a boiling point so I decided to get rid of the DVD once and for all, just before I dropped it into the dustbin beside my desk, I glimpsed the word "destruction" which I had written down earlier. I spent some time thinking about humans and destruction and decided to test it out. I wanted to see how the act of destruction would affect me as a person. Then I remembered I had two copies of the same disc.
So what I did was, took the useless DVD, and broke it down the middle. Just to see how I would feel applying destruction to life. When I heard a loud "CRACK!" I immediately stooped. But the DVD did not break in half. Thanks to the incredibly strong printing on the front, It only cracked and bent in 3 places. This got me a little annoyed because I hadn't achieved my set goal in breaking it down the middle. I could've just thrown the disc away, but instead, I chose to continue my little psychological/physiological experiment.
I used my anger and frustration at the disc (for not working, for getting jammed in my pc, for jamming up my pc and even for not breaking properly) and i went on for two whole minutes. Even I was shocked. Two whole minutes were spent turning the DVD from a perfectly shaped disc to bits and pieces of plastic, paper and film. I used my hands, twisted, bent, and broke the disc into small reflective pieces. I even folded some thick paper, bent the discs halfway, put them in the paper and put the folded paper containing the remnants of the DVD under one of the legs of my chair, and stood on it. Cracking breaking and shattering every piece I knew was there till I decided to stop. When I decided that the experiment was over and I had to evaluate it, I poured out the broken pieces onto my notepad. What was once a DVD, is now 4.7 Gigabytes of a shattered plastic mirror.
I took the time before I took these pictures to evaluate how I felt. I felt empowered. I felt good. I felt energized. I could feel the adrenalin surging through my veins and muscles and an increased heartbeat which did not subside for another 5 minutes. Destroying something had brought a physiologically positive feeling to my body. Which if though of properly, is depressing.
Is this why we destroy? To feel good? To feel that we are better than something or someone? Because we're good at it? I mean look at the state of the world. Everywhere you look, its chaos, mayhem and destruction. Yes there is love everywhere but calm and quiet love has been silenced by the noise and racket made my modern mankind's destructive habits. Yes sometimes we destroy to create, but bottom line is, we still destroy.
Global warming, war, famine, the plundering of our earth's precious natural resources relentlessly? To destroy is Its what we're good at. I am not condoning violence, but the evidence is inevitable.
What do we need to do? How can we better ourselves? Are we doomed to tear each other apart till there is nothing left?
All these questions I have placed before you I sadly cannot answer. I simply do not know how. More importantly, I do not know if I should.
Maybe I'm just confused or a little misguided, and I'm sorry, but I cannot seem to prove in words how not to look at this in a depressing way.
The only consolation I can think of is that you hold a firm belief in The Golden Rule, that "one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself" and also from Luke 6:12 - "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise."
.... and if you have lost your faith in mankind like I have so many times and you cannot find consolation in a verse such as this, then God help us all.
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